How Do They Not See The Suck?

I was perus­ing the web last night and ran across this astound­ing piece of web suck­ery. I’m always amazed at what peo­ple will pub­lish for the world to see. What’s amaz­ing is not that they pub­lished it, but that they’re proud of it. Even more amaz­ing is that they expect oth­ers to pay them to do the same for (or maybe to) them.

Puke Green and a danc­ing hunk of cheese

I’m talk­ing, of course, about Fred and Sharon’s Movies. If you haven’t seen this site yet, you’re in for a real… Well, you’re in for it. They made an adver­tis­ing movie that went viral some time ago. The movie is con­sid­ered by some to be an Inter­net “must see” on par with the danc­ing baby and Char­lie the Uni­corn. It’s the one on the home page called “Who Needs a Movie”. This movie is so bad you can’t help but laugh at it. I want to know what the deal with the “ani­mated” Nessie might be.

What’s wrong with the site? For starters, it’s puke green. Who does that? There’s a lit­tle epilep­tic guy who appears to be made of really old bleu cheese play­ing a gui­tar which sucks all the viewer atten­tion to the bot­tom of the page. Creepy… The worst thing of all, though is the song in the back­ground. It sounds like a gui­tar loop on top of which these folks did a bad dub. You absolutely MUST lis­ten to the words to the song. I thought it was just noise, but there are actu­ally words in there. There is no rhythm, no melody, really no redeem­ing qual­ity in the singing. Do they keep say­ing “smell fishy” in the back­ground or am I miss­ing some­thing? There is a way to turn off the the king of rock, but I’ll leave it to you to find it…

The movies are clas­si­cally bad. You’ve seen shows, like Tim and Eric on Car­toon Net­work, that are bad on pur­pose? Not these guys. Their movies are bad by acci­dent, or maybe some freak nat­ural phe­nom­e­non. It’s as if the “art” gene didn’t man­i­fest in their fam­ily for their gen­er­a­tion. I take no com­fort in the fact that they can be hired to do the same for me so long as I pay them.

I’ll not be pay­ing. I’ll not be vis­it­ing again (except when I need a laugh).

Cheers!

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